25 July, 2011

Death Throes!

Another morbid one, guys. Motherfucking DEATH THROES. So, before I go off and form a Doom Metal band, I'll run this by you - pretty much, this unfortunate Archaeopteryx (pictured above) has come to the end of his life. And since he's now a beautifully arranged fossil, paleontologists have been able to study him and figure a few things out about evolution. But never mind that, this poor old fellow is sprawled out in what is called the "Death Throes".

Death Throes: A violent last-ditch spasm before the Grim Reaper arrives and leaves you in the dust. Epic. Putting it all out there on the line in the final hour. Parting with very bit of energy you've got left, and adding a little drama to the final arrangement of your limbs. Death Throes. Mine are going to be epic, I might try and leap out of a window or something.

Here's the extinction (containing at least one Death Throe, at 6:40) according to Disney's "Fantasia" - except this uploader's been awesome and decided that Rush would be a great soundtrack. Enjoy!

Death Mask!

So here's another process I should probably have done to me after I've passed. Motherfucking DEATH MASK. Very, very badass. Basically its a way to preserve the image of a person who's passed, by making a last-minute cast of their face, immediately following death. They have been used as mementos of the dead, forensic research items, and a reference for post-mortem portraiture. Morbid.

There's also apparently a "life mask" which is cool, except less morbid, and probably less useful since you can just look at their living face if you really need to. Also, if I'm honest - a photograph would probably suffice.

Death Mask. Awesome superhero/wrestler name, too.

12 July, 2011

Total Badasses: CM Punk

So, a new king of modern sports entertainment has been crowned, or so it seems. I've mentioned WWE and wrestling in general (neither of the 'W's in WWE stand for wrestling anymore) - and all of my previous posts have been about the past glories of a few breakthrough WWE stars. Over the last fortnight I've been lucky enough to witness the dawn of what could be an entirely new era. The man at the helm is CM Punk. Here's him "speaking his mind" before his final PPV appearance on Sunday.

So he's just strutted out there onto the set of a live television show, and gone on a 10 minute verbatim rant about how much his boss, his colleagues and the industry are just... well, fucked. He (almost) breaks character and kayfabe about 200 times and doesn't get cut off 'til the last second. Hmmmm. Anyways, regardless of whether this was real or 'worked', it was an incredible piece of promo work. Big time. A really big deal.

So here I am, a long standing fan of Punk's - waiting to see if the WWE has pulled off an incredible on-screen acknowledgement of their mistreatment of their talent and their fans, or just let a very serious embarrasment happen at the hands of their most well-rounded performer. I'd love to let it rip on my boss like that.

For more total badasses, click here.

11 July, 2011


No, not Beau Bridges you idiot, regular bridges!

Here's the thing about Civilization... From what I understand you reproduce a whole bunch and have your children grow up and become grown humans. You all work together, plant seeds, breed livestock and basically obliterate your parcel of land for all the resources it has. Then you build roads so you can sell your apples and pigs to neighbouring villages and then those roads need to cross a river because there's better grain on the other side maybe, so you need to build passageways everywhere all around the world so that civilization can function, or something.

Right, so basically you need to build bridges spanning these physical obstacles. And then cities emerged and these incredible bridges got built.


Chewing Gum

If I had to state what my favourite category in the world is (and I've definitely laboured night & day over this), its probably "useless things that have somehow survived the test of time", like windmills. Here's another. Chewing gum.

What is it made of? What does it do? Nobody knows. But what I do know, is that it looks and feels fucking cool-as-balls to chew. Just try and deny it. See? You can't.

Chewing gum. It only does one thing, but it does it better than you.

"The Captain's Table"

Imagine being invited to dine at the Captain's table....

It would be so awesome, even if you were on some sort of dinky cruise ship, you'd totally love it. Just like pilots, Ship Captains (of ships that are big and nice and don't smell bad) are just a wicked different class of dudes. And I'm all about class, obviously. So yeah, sit down with the Captain during the ship's "Maiden Voyage"... also awesome... and just tuck in to the "catch of the day". Fuck, Sea imagery is so spot on, man.

Also this: Apparently Sea Captains have never, at any point ever been able to legally perform weddings. What the fuck? That's totally a older-than-time myth. Not only that, but the rules and regulations actually state that a Captain should specifically NOT attempt to perform a marriage at sea. Which is hilarious, because it suggests that some captains have been a bit "caught up in the moment" and given it a go. :)

Tonight's research really did crush my hopes and dreams of being a Wedding-cruise operator. Oh well, drawing board ahoy!