07 April, 2010

Total Badasses: Kratos

Okay, this has been a long time coming. Videogames have long been known as a medium populated by huge beefy guys killing other guys, right? Right! And Kratos, the protagonist of the God of War games, is arguably the most awesome and epic.

I'll try to keep backstory brief. Kratos was a general in the Greek army who was betrayed (initially by Ares, the God of War) and forced to kill his own family. Ever since then, Kratos just wants to kill every single God and Greek myth. That's it. That's the story. Obviously other stuff happens as well, but thats the gist. Its basically the most epic tale of revenge ever told. And it goes all the way up to Zeus. Yes, that's right, he wants to kill the fucken "God of Gods".

What Kratos lacks in character depth (he's got one facial expression: scowl), he makes up for in deeds. This guy does some freakin' epic stuff that really defines what "awesome" would look like in the mind of a 12-year old boy. Kratos disembowels minotaurs, plucks out cyclopses' eyes, and stabs satyrs, but thats just the beginning.

Some Kratos highlights (minor spoilers, but if you didn't figure it out already, Kratos kills FUCKEN EVERYBODY):

-Killing the Colossus of fucken Rhodes
-Killing the fucken Hydra
-Killing Hades, God of the fucken Underworld
-Killing fucken Hercules
-Killing fucken Poseidon, God of the Sea
-Killing Helios, God of the fucken Sun
-Killing the Sisters of fucken Fate
-Killing Gaia, Titan of the fucken Earth
-Killing Cronos, Titan of Time
-Killing Ares, God of fucken War

Now with God of War 3 in the bag, the developers have stated that they have wrapped up "Kratos' story arc", whatever that means. I'm sure there will be more God of War games, but I'm wondering if they will feature a different hero or not. I'm hoping Kratos gets to return, but in an altogether different mythology.

Just imagine. God of War 4. Kratos gets betrayed by God. Must battle through hordes of Saints. And Jesus. It would be amazing.

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