The 450 Splash

Yeah yeah, so I enjoy the current WWE product. So what? Go fuck yourselves.

Nah just kidding. But seriously, I haven't gotten over the loss of classic dudes like "Macho Man Randy Savage", "Brutus Beefcake" and "Typhoon" either... But none of the aforementioned could pull off anything like this.



Boom. The 450 splash. 450, because it adds another 90 degrees to what otherwise would just be a front-flip. Splash, because you let your chest smash down on the other guy as hard as possible. Then you pin him. Then you win.



Or, you can springboard it to the outside of the ring, like my boy here John Morrison. Boom. Somebody give this guy the strap already!

Anyways - yeah, wrestling is gay and whatever, but none of you "beat poetry" fans can do a fucking springboard 450. So yeah... Gladiatorial Athleticism, or something.

Total Badasses: Paul McCartney

Sir Paul McCartney. MBE. The most successful songwriter in the history of music. Musician. Activist. Total Badass.

I love Paul. I've always had a softspot for him, his songs always semed less pretentious and egotistical than those of his (equally badass and incredible) writing partner John Lennon. They were like the "Bert and Ernie" of groundbreaking 60's pop songwriting, and Paul is totally Ernie.

Anwyays, not only is the guy just obviously responsible for some of the greatest music humans have ever created (Let It Be, Hey Jude, Maybe I'm Amazed, etc), he also just seems like a totally realistic, genuinely nice guy. Maybe he's not or whatever, but still - to have been in the public eye your whole life and still come off like a fucking champion no matter what you get up to; is very impressive.

Plus, he's so incredibly decorated. Sir. Being a knight of the British Empire is awesome, especially if you got there by writing "Yesterday" and playing the bass. Awesome.

Here's one of my favourites from Paul's post-Beatles era.

Paul McCartney - Coming Up


It (no shit) brought John Lennon out of retirement.

For more total badasses, click here.

"Moonline"

Here's how I want to take my first trip out into the galaxy. Moonline!

Such an outlandish concept, but perhaps not completely unqualifiable. Actually, its probably extremely unqualifiable, but I don't care. Imagination has always been Science's cooler little brother.

Space + Train = Space train. Lets do it.

The artist, by the name of Shigeru Komatsuzaki, rules. He's also responsible for some of the more memorable depictions of the Thunderbirds (see below).


I love this "model set box" style of art work, the stuff you'd find on awesome toys, posters, merchandise, etc - back in the 70's. Great stuff.

Mist

Mist, man. Water droplets suspended in the air are the shit. They add an overall dramatic mood, and the sense that "some dangerous thing can happen at any time" to any situation. Reducing the real world's draw-distance is a really funny and awesome thing to do. Mist. Here's another thing:


THE Mist. The. Anyone seen this movie? I love this fucking movie. It stars Tom Jane, which is always a plus (check out "Arrested Development" and "Boogie Nights" to see why Tom Jane is a fucking badass) - and tells the story of a group of small-town residents who get trapped in a supermarket, after the town becomes shrouded in a mysterious mist.

What follows is more or less the usual Stephen King fare, with mysterious monsters attacking the shop from outside, whilst the mist-hostages enter survival mode, and the story becomes an agorophobic "islotation thriller". The fear of the outside world, ruled by mist - keeps the group of around 50 generic townspeople trapped in the shop, where they are left to form not only their own society, but also strategies and methods of escape.

Obviously, they cannot all agree - and the mini-civilization within the supermarket begins to crumble. The superstitious and religious townsfolk believe that god will save them, while the level-headed Tom Jane and his neighbours and friends, decide they have the know-how to get out of this alive.

Sure. That might've sounded pretty crap, but the real stylishness of this movie really is how simple it is. Monsters outside = don't go outside. Town shrouded in mist = nobody knows where to run. Simple.

But seriously. The phenomenon of "Mist" is great and all, but See this movie, if only for the ending. The ending of this movie will make you Blow. A. Cow.

Headdress

Headdress. Boom. This one is kind of awkward looking, but even still... This is what royal costuming should be. Kill a bunch of birds of prey, harvest those feathers, arrange them in some kind of epic hat, and away you go - leading a civillization.


Here's another thing. It just oozes majesty... You'd believe everything this guy had to say about the universe.


One last one. Boo Yah, a fucking dynamite headdress for the greatest warrior to ever live, or something. If you see this king coming towards you, run fast. Run far. Like the wind.

Headdress.

King Cobra

Cobra Style! These snakes, man. Such kings of the reptilian civilization. This snake is clearly the easiest reptile to "worship". Something to do with having a naturally-forming headdress just makes these dudes fucking unstoppable. Cobra Style!