NBA Jam: Tournament Edition

NBA Jam: Tournament Edition is the best arcade game I've ever played. I'd seriously pay the $3,200 or whatever ridiculous price, just to get one of these machines in my house. I'm seriously going to do it.

Basically, since the original "NBA Jam" was so successful, they released a slightly newer one - same gameplay, but with alot more "wacky" easter eggs and cool little tidbits. Here's a video of Raiden and Reptile from the "Mortal Kombat" franchise, playing against the Charlotte Hornets.



So anyway, in these games, you'd usually just play 2-on-2 basketball using your favourite NBA team. If you managed to string together 3 consecutive baskets with one guy, your guy would become "on fire", and start shooting/dunking a flaming ball to the basket, burning its net in the process. The effect only wore off if the opposite team scored. And yeah, if you watch the video - you can get some pretty "sick" looking dunks.

Anyways, the main reason this game rules, is the adorable cheesy commentator. Along with "he's on fire!" - which relates to the above scenario, there are some freaking great lines spouted by the commentary as you play. Check this out:

"Boom-shaka-laka!"
"The Monster Jam!"
"Jams it in!"
"Slam-a-jamma!"
"From Downtown!" - when you bomb up a huge "three pointer"
"Grabs the rebound!"
"The nail in the coffin!" - in the closing moments of play.
"Whoomp, there it is!"
"Puts up a brick!" - when you miss wildly
"Can't buy a bucket!" - when you keep missing wildly
"Is it the shoes?!?" - the commentator can't come up with a better explanation as to why you're playing so good!
"Tenacious D"
"Razzle Dazzle"

Anyways, if you see this game at an arcade or pizza place or whatever. Play it. Is so fucking awesome.

Wholesome Fun #3

Board games! Board games are totally wicked. They're such a pure "box full of fun". All you need is your buds and a sweet board game and your night is totally set. They should totally become a new "fad". Instead of going out and binge drinking, the Australian youth should have some fuckin' fun with board games.

When I was a young boy, my family bought this obscure board game called "Escape the Blob", and to this day I have such great memories of it. Basically each player was one of these little coloured alien balls, on an alien planet. Each player had to survive the longest without being eaten by the evil Blob. It was a simple "roll the dice and move so many spaces" kinda game, but my family played the shit out of it. So great. I miss it.

I could totally get into more "advanced" board games. Check this out. How much do you just wanna "play" that:


Board games rule.

For more wholesome fun, click here.

Knightmare!

Knightmare!

Knightmare is a totally awesome obscure game I fondly remember from my childhood. The whole premise is simple. You're a knight. You go into a castle. You go through the castle killing monsters and evil dudes. At the end of every level there's a "boss", like the totally evil witch above. Its awesome.

Knightmare is an example of the idea that you don't need a convoluted plot, or even any plot at all really, to make a badass game. All you need is a "concept". The starting screen just showed a spooky castle, at night, with bats flying around it, and lightning, and the word "KNIGHTMARE!" in scary letters. Thats all you need. As a kid, I thought "awesome! I'm totally gonna go inside that castle!".

Knightmare!!

Torchlight!

Ok, so remember Diablo 2? Remember how awesome that game was, and how addictive it was to level up your dude and collect loot that slowly got awesomer and awesomer? Torchlight is a new game that is like Diablo, but without all the convoluted plot and theme.

Torchlight is a "little adventure", that keeps all the leveling up and loot collecting that made Diablo-esque games fun, and strips everything else. How fuckin' cool is that concept?

All you do, is descend into a massive underground dungeon, filled with level after level of awesome enemies, who are all actually piňatas filled with loot. Your character is one of three archetypes.

By the way, how cool are "fantasy archetypes"? You've got the fighter, the rogue, and the mage. Who needs anything else? That is so simple and classic. Get out of here with your "Blood-lock Destroyer Knightmage". Play a friggin' rogue or somethin'.

Your character gets to have a pet, too -- an awesome idea. Although this time its not a "badass demon or elemental", its a cat or a dog. Yep, once again, how simple and awesome is that? I chose a cat.

So I'm playing a Rogue, and her name is "Eden" (is that a cool name for a girl?) and my cat's name is "Galahad". Come on, thats a fuckin' cool name for a cat!

Love this game.

Old videogame coverart rules

Man, just how much awesome can you fit into one picture? Just look at that top one: you've got some kind of evil overlord, a robot warrior, AND a freaking dinosaur. Such an amazing clash of archetypes.

The second features some kind of epic warrior, riding a partially robotic crocodile thing, being attacked by a modern fighter jet. It's like what "awesome" would look like inside the mind of a thirteen year old kid, but a really awesome "classic" kid, not some generic modern kid who wears baggy shorts and listens to "Slipknot".

The third cover's game is called "Monster Business". That is just fantastic -- that construction helmet dude obviously has some kind of "business" with those monsters, even if it is just "shooting them".

I miss old game coverart.

King Minos

In ancient Greek mythology, King Minos was a ruler of Crete, and also a demigod, the son of Zeus and Europa. After his death, Minos was said to become the Judge of the dead in Hades -- he would decide which of the circles of Hell all sinners would be cast into.

Minos is also one of the bosses in the new game, "Dante's Inferno", which brings me to the real point of this post -- Minos gives one of the most purely badass quotes from any boss in game history:

"Who comes into my House of Pain...?"