Air Force One

I'm gonna rise up
I'm gonna kick a little ass
I'm gonna kick some ass in the U.S.A.
I'm gonna climb a mountain
I'm gonna sew a flag
I'm gonna fly on an eagle
I'm gonna kick some butt
I'm gonna drive a big truck
I'm gonna rule this world
I'm gonna kick some ass
I'm gonna rise up
Gonna kick a little ass
Rock on! Flyin' eagle!

Air Force One is a 1997 Action/Adventure film starring (total badass) Harrison Ford, (total badass) Gary Oldman, Glenn Close and William H Macy. It follows the story of President James Marshall (Ford), who makes a career defining speech, heralding the USA's newly-bolstered stance against all things terrorism. Here's the trailer.



See, the thing I absolutely love about this movie (and something Luxury Wolf, the betrayer) quite rightfully emphasized for me - is this. Action movies, generally have a big, mighty macho dude saving the day against the odds. This character is generally known as "the Hero". And that's great. Air Force One has the motherfucking PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

The President is the Hero.

So not only is the James Marshall equipped with all the necessary combat skills to kick Gary Oldman's ass, and save the day, he's also the President of the United States of America. He's both. I've never witnessed a more brash example of "PATRIOTISM, FUCK YEAH!" in my whole life.

There's also this. It could be my favourite line in the history of cinema.



"GET OFF MY PLANE."

Steam Power!

Steam power... Its the best. Completely changed the world. Check it out:

The first-recorded steam engine, designed in ancient Greece by a dude named "Hero of Alexandria". That's cool. It was created almost two millennia before the industrial revolution. He used the original (pictured) as a "rocket" style propulsion engine, and another to open Temple doors. All through the power of STEAM.

Around 80% of the electricity used by the entire planet is currently produced by use of steam turbines. Bam. Anything Nuclear (Submarines, bro!), also - Steam power. Here's the classic popularized steam engine:


Extra Steam, please! Steam trains are awesome. Such classic, timeless transportation. Steam Locomotives were the device "getting it done" from the start of the 19th century, until the middle of the 20th Century. A good honest run, for a good honest piece of technology.

I'd love to take a trip on the "fanciest" antique train journey I could find - like the Rocky Mountain way or the Trans-Siberian railroad, as long as the train and carriages are really luxurious and old. There'd be an "engineer" on board, with the whole getup on, and shit like that. ....Fat Controller? I dunno.

So, to summarize - Steam power. Yep. Now here's a lovely picture, just because sometimes its important to just look at a nice picture:

Total Badasses: Guile

Guile. He's a badass. Look at his hair! That's an "American Hero" for you, totally Army, muscled up, and a "Rip a Hole in the Sun" attitude to boot. Check out his awesome American flag tattoo. Cool. Guile is pretty much a no-nonsense, All-American tough guy.

A Major in the United States Air Force, Guile left the United States of America, to enter the World Warrior tournament avenging his friend Charlie, who was killed by the tournament's sponsor, and fellow Total Badass - M. Bison. Anyways, yeah - Guile does a sweet spinning kick, as well as this gem:

Guile performs the "Sonic Boom" attack - powers up so much that he shoots a powerful "force" at the other guy, and knocks him down. Get it? Air Force... Jets... Sonic Boom, speed of sound... etc?

Street Fighter rules. Guile rules.

Rip a Hole in the Sun.

For more total badasses, click here.

Soldier for the Working Week

"The Simpsons" is a topic which hasn't yet been breached. For a few reasons.... a) because the internet is already full of Simpsons stuff, and nobody would care - and b) because The Simpsons probably really sucks still.

However, even if I'm only willing to acknowledge Seasons-2-through-11.... Homer Simpson is nonetheless one of pop cultures most glorious triumphs... The guy is more famous than Michael Jackson and the Queen of England for Christ's sake. I'll show you why everybody loves him so much.



Holy fuck. When I first saw this, it blew my mind. There's so much of an "untold story" when it comes to Homer, and this little piece makes him look like a total Hero. So, not only has Groening and his writers managed to create a character who stands for every white working class person in the western world- they've managed to make him hilarious, and incredibly multidimensional. Homer is a soldier for the working week. Cool.

Total Badasses: Ellen Ripley

I was tossing up whether to declare Ellen Ripley or Sigourney Weaver as the Total Badass. On one hand, Ripley is probably the greatest female hero in cinema history... on the other - she's played by Sigourney Weaver... and her name is Sigourney FUCKING Weaver which is probably the greatest name any real person has ever been named.

But then I noticed the shoes Ripley is wearing in this^^ image. Sci-Fi basketball adventure shoes! They probably provided the "ankle support" that allowed her to save the day!

I think "real names which are amazing" is probably a pretty good post on its own, so maybe I'll save that one up. "Maximilian Q. Adventure", if he somehow exists - has a tribute coming to him.

For more Total Badasses, click here.

Holy Shit

"Infinity Kid"

...is that cool?