Sarcophagi

I want to be buried in one of THESE motherfuckers:


Man, that would be so fucken cool. All glorious and lavish and shit, I'd be the most "bling" dead guy ever. You know what else are cool? Crypts, man. Fucken Mausoleums, tombs - graveyards in general.

People get all this really cool shit done to them when they die, for some reason. I'm all for it, because I'm greedy and don't care what money gets spent on me after I'm dead. I'm going all out. Plus, the bonus is - if I become a Ghost or a Spectre or something, I'm going to have a fucking awesome house all ready to live in and have "ghoulish parties" in. Yeah.

Mandrake

Ok, so in real life, the Mandrake is a plant (belonging to the 'Nightshades' classification strand. Pow.) whose roots have long been used in the practice of magic rituals. It is a wholly unimpressive thing, except for the fact that the roots often closely resemble figures of humans, or even children.

The impressive stuff is how far practitioners of the dark arts have taken the backstory with these things. According to the legend, when the root is dug up it screams and kills all who hear it.

Some of the Magic folklore and writings surrounding the Mandrake, are incredible (and disturbing). Here's what one "History and Practice of Magic" book, by Paul Christian instructs us to do:

Would you like to make a Mandragora? Then find a root of the plant called bryony. Take it out of the ground on a Monday (the day of the moon), a little time after the vernal equinox. Cut off the ends of the root and bury it at night in some country churchyard in a dead man's grave. For thirty days water it with cow's milk in which three bats have been drowned. When the thirty-first day arrives, take out the root in the middle of the night and dry it in an oven heated with branches of verbena; then wrap it up in a piece of a dead man's winding-sheet and carry it with you everywhere.

...Anyone want to make one with me?

Providing for your family from BEYOND THE GRAVE

This is such a cool, cool thing. So, there's things like life insurance, and wills and whatever - those are great. But, this concept is slightly more awesome: Basically, you're a very, very sensible guy, and you invest your money really well. You do this with very little regard for your current situation - you obviously pay all the bills and feed your family, but nothing extravagant. You're all about the long term.

So, when you die, not only do you pass down all of your assets to your significant other (financial dependents) and other remaining family - but they pick up "the books" to find that they never again have to work a day in their lives. Your investments are watertight, and there's enough to go around for everyone.

Providing for your family from beyond the grave. Nice.