The Horror from the Hills

Hey, so I found this amazing list the other day. Its called the "List of Great Old Ones", and it was originally created by H.P Lovecraft, and expanded by his band of followers throughout literary history. Its essentially a compendium of names and descriptions of deities belonging to the "Cthulhu Mythos". Now, that probably won't mean much to you unless you're some sort of terrible Satanic Sci-Fi geek - but believe me, its objectively one of the bigger goldmines that the internet has offered up since eBay.

Dick with this:

Watch out! Its CHAUGNAR FAUGN! Also known by the epithet "The Horror from the Hills". Firstly, Chaugnar is a motherfucking badass. Secondly, he's a humanoid elephant with horribly grotesque features, combining the worst aspects of octopus, elephant, and human being. Also he's made of "night", or something. He moves incredibly fast for his size and will drain the blood of any being it encounters. Especially YOU.

Chaugnar Faugn falls into the category of "black magic" mythology, stories that were whispered amongst the endarkened (opposite of enlightened, is that cool? I might have just invented a word...) rather than passed along as regular legends like the Hydra/Minotaur/Larry Bird.

Seriously, grimoires are the best things ever. Way better than textbooks. I'd much rather have studied black magic than "Society & Environment". Then maybe all these bloody talismans would come in handy once in a while.

That Lucky Old Sun

The Sun is a shining fucking golden champion. He's a Solar Deity. The Sun is the most powerful thing in our galaxy, probably. In its core, the Sun fuses 430–600 million tons of hydrogen each second. The Sun is a motherfucking beast.

The Sun gods of mythology had really awesome names... Apollo. Freyr. Sol Invictus. Helios. (a "Heliopolis" is a "Sun City". Boom) Ra. Check out Ra:


What a majestic badass! Look at the "dignified pose" he's striking.

Anyways, being "as powerful as the sun itself" is possibly the greatest thing one could ever achieve. I'm going to become that.