Showing posts with label Dead. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dead. Show all posts

16 September, 2011

The Mountain of the Dead

So I've already gone and blown my own mind with the title of this post, but there's a little more to explain before we all strip off and run screaming into the snow. The Mountain of the motherfucking Dead. Today I'm referring specifically to Kholat Syakhl, a mountain pass in which some seriously macabre shit took place. I know, who would be crazy enough to expect sunshine, bluebirds and survival on "The Mountain of the Dead"? Nobody, that's who - even still, the poor souls who did fall victim to the pass would have a pretty good story to tell if they were English-speaking ghosts. Lets do this thing:

So, It all begins fairly innocently, with a group of 9 experienced Ski hikers setting out into the great white Russian wilderness. Diary entries for he days leading up to the "event" have been found. It is reported that after becoming lost due to snowblindness (boom), the hikers set up camp to weather a blizzard of some kind. Here's what the inquest into the demise of the group reveals (paraphrased from http://en.wikipedia.org/Dyatlov_Pass_Incident) :

  • Three of the group members died as a result of fatal injuries, Six from hypothermia. 
  • There were no indications of other people anywhere close by, apart from the nine travelers.
  • The tent had been ripped open from within.
  • The victims had died 6 to 8 hours after their last meal.
  • All group members left the camp of their own accord, on foot.
  • The fatal injuries of the three bodies could not have been caused by another human being, "because the force of the blows had been too strong and no soft tissue had been damaged".
  • High doses of radioactive contamination were found on the clothes of the victims.
Holy ghost! So, I'm led to believe - based on this cryptic but "officially gathered" evidence, that the hikers were involved in some kind of RADIOACTIVE BLIZZARD MADNESS? I guess so. Such an incredible & mysterious way to go out, on the mountain of the dead, sprinting through the snow barefoot with newfound radioactive superhuman strength/bloodlust. I'm forced to believe there's no other sensible explanation. Here's something else (wikipedia is my/your best friend) :

  • After the funerals, relatives of the deceased claimed that the skin of the victims had a strange brown tan, for no reason.
  • Another group of hikers (50kms away from the pass) reported that they saw strange orange spheres in the night sky over the mountain, the night of the incident.
  • Some reports suggest that there was a lot of scrap metal in the area, leading to speculation that the military had utilized the area secretly and might be engaged in a cover-up.

So yeah, you go to the Mountain of the Dead, you get explosively dramatic results. Lets go!

25 July, 2011

Death Mask!


So here's another process I should probably have done to me after I've passed. Motherfucking DEATH MASK. Very, very badass. Basically its a way to preserve the image of a person who's passed, by making a last-minute cast of their face, immediately following death. They have been used as mementos of the dead, forensic research items, and a reference for post-mortem portraiture. Morbid.

There's also apparently a "life mask" which is cool, except less morbid, and probably less useful since you can just look at their living face if you really need to. Also, if I'm honest - a photograph would probably suffice.

Death Mask. Awesome superhero/wrestler name, too.

27 May, 2010

Sarcophagi

I want to be buried in one of THESE motherfuckers:


Man, that would be so fucken cool. All glorious and lavish and shit, I'd be the most "bling" dead guy ever. You know what else are cool? Crypts, man. Fucken Mausoleums, tombs - graveyards in general.

People get all this really cool shit done to them when they die, for some reason. I'm all for it, because I'm greedy and don't care what money gets spent on me after I'm dead. I'm going all out. Plus, the bonus is - if I become a Ghost or a Spectre or something, I'm going to have a fucking awesome house all ready to live in and have "ghoulish parties" in. Yeah.

10 March, 2010

Providing for your family from BEYOND THE GRAVE

This is such a cool, cool thing. So, there's things like life insurance, and wills and whatever - those are great. But, this concept is slightly more awesome: Basically, you're a very, very sensible guy, and you invest your money really well. You do this with very little regard for your current situation - you obviously pay all the bills and feed your family, but nothing extravagant. You're all about the long term.

So, when you die, not only do you pass down all of your assets to your significant other (financial dependents) and other remaining family - but they pick up "the books" to find that they never again have to work a day in their lives. Your investments are watertight, and there's enough to go around for everyone.

Providing for your family from beyond the grave. Nice.

10 February, 2010

"Deadkid" ©

Hey, so is this a cool idea for a Superhero? "Deadkid"©... obviously the literal meaning "Dead Kid" isn't cool at all, but if he was some sort of supernatural, ghost-boy named DeadKid who ran wild through a western setting... would that be awesome?

I think it would be, so I'm making sure I "barleys-infinity-cross-your-heart-hope-to-die" that idea. I'll make millions.