Total Badasses: Steven Spielberg

When you think of a total badass, you don't usually think of a middle-aged bespectacled Jewish man. But that's just what Spielberg is. A badass. And an absolute motherfucken titan of cinema.

Just what makes Spielberg such a genius? I think it's his range. You know how some directors are known for making a certain kind of movie? Like, John Woo makes high-octane "gun"-themed action movies. Wes Craven makes horror movies, etcetera. Spielberg's theme must be "good" movies or something, because he doesn't really have a theme.

He'd be all like, "Okay, I'm gonna make a fantastic family movie about an alien" then he'd be like "Okay, my next one's gonna be an amazing archaeology adventure". He's the only guy who can probably say he went from making an incredible special-effects laden movie about freakin' dinosaurs, to a heartwrenching, beautiful film about the Holocaust.

Trivia time: Spielberg didn't accept any paycheck from making Schindler's List, because he said it would be like taking "blood money". Totally awesome gesture.

He just keeps going -- jumping between themes and genres effortlessly. Modern adaptation of Peter Pan? Check. A wicked re-telling of a H.G Wells classic? Check. Spielberg is the man.

Some cinemaphiles might argue that the greatest director of the modern era is someone a bit more arthouse, like von Trier or van Sant or Gondry or something, but for me, its fucken Spielberg. His movies are timeless entertainment, and there is art behind them -- the art of effortlessly telling a wonderful story, be it an amazing adventure, terrible true-to-life historic heartache, a colourful re-telling of a classic fable, or an encounter with something from another world.

Steven Spielberg. Absolute genius.

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Wholesome Fun #3

Board games! Board games are totally wicked. They're such a pure "box full of fun". All you need is your buds and a sweet board game and your night is totally set. They should totally become a new "fad". Instead of going out and binge drinking, the Australian youth should have some fuckin' fun with board games.

When I was a young boy, my family bought this obscure board game called "Escape the Blob", and to this day I have such great memories of it. Basically each player was one of these little coloured alien balls, on an alien planet. Each player had to survive the longest without being eaten by the evil Blob. It was a simple "roll the dice and move so many spaces" kinda game, but my family played the shit out of it. So great. I miss it.

I could totally get into more "advanced" board games. Check this out. How much do you just wanna "play" that:


Board games rule.

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Total Badasses: Ellen Ripley

I was tossing up whether to declare Ellen Ripley or Sigourney Weaver as the Total Badass. On one hand, Ripley is probably the greatest female hero in cinema history... on the other - she's played by Sigourney Weaver... and her name is Sigourney FUCKING Weaver which is probably the greatest name any real person has ever been named.

But then I noticed the shoes Ripley is wearing in this^^ image. Sci-Fi basketball adventure shoes! They probably provided the "ankle support" that allowed her to save the day!

I think "real names which are amazing" is probably a pretty good post on its own, so maybe I'll save that one up. "Maximilian Q. Adventure", if he somehow exists - has a tribute coming to him.

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Old videogame coverart rules

Man, just how much awesome can you fit into one picture? Just look at that top one: you've got some kind of evil overlord, a robot warrior, AND a freaking dinosaur. Such an amazing clash of archetypes.

The second features some kind of epic warrior, riding a partially robotic crocodile thing, being attacked by a modern fighter jet. It's like what "awesome" would look like inside the mind of a thirteen year old kid, but a really awesome "classic" kid, not some generic modern kid who wears baggy shorts and listens to "Slipknot".

The third cover's game is called "Monster Business". That is just fantastic -- that construction helmet dude obviously has some kind of "business" with those monsters, even if it is just "shooting them".

I miss old game coverart.