Death Throes!

Another morbid one, guys. Motherfucking DEATH THROES. So, before I go off and form a Doom Metal band, I'll run this by you - pretty much, this unfortunate Archaeopteryx (pictured above) has come to the end of his life. And since he's now a beautifully arranged fossil, paleontologists have been able to study him and figure a few things out about evolution. But never mind that, this poor old fellow is sprawled out in what is called the "Death Throes".

Death Throes: A violent last-ditch spasm before the Grim Reaper arrives and leaves you in the dust. Epic. Putting it all out there on the line in the final hour. Parting with very bit of energy you've got left, and adding a little drama to the final arrangement of your limbs. Death Throes. Mine are going to be epic, I might try and leap out of a window or something.



Here's the extinction (containing at least one Death Throe, at 6:40) according to Disney's "Fantasia" - except this uploader's been awesome and decided that Rush would be a great soundtrack. Enjoy!

Mass Extinction!

OK, so here it is. Actually the most terrifying thing I've ever heard of. And I mean it this time. Mass motherfucking extinction. Watch out for it.

The K-T event, or "Cretaceous–Tertiary extinction" event - is the most widely recognized occurrence of mass extinction in Earth's history. 75% of all species (all the god-damn Dinosaurs) on the planet were wiped out over the course of... well, a relatively short period of time. Most fossil records seem to point to some sort of rapid geological event, which hit Earth's "reset button" and left the Birds and Mammals to thrive in the new age.

My best bet is that it all happened because of some sort of crazy space rock, falling to Earth and completely fucking everyone up. There's a nicely placed 1.6km deep "smash hole" in the Yucatán Peninsula of Mexico, with Shocked Quartz in the rock bed. Could be the best clue. That's all I'm saying.

ARCHAEOPTERYX

Archaeopteryx, I think we can all agree is a great example *Slides glasses up bridge of nose* of a "transitional fossil" between Bird and Dinosaur. He is also the fanciest and most "glam" motherfucker this side of the Cretacious Period. What a genius... Imagine being ripped apart by the Killing Claw of this fancy boy, he reminds me of "Vega" from the Street Figther series...


In that they both really brings a little "showmanship" to the art of Disemboweling a guy.

Stegosaurus

I've always had a soft spot for the Stegosaurus. I always thought the duel between the Mother Stegosaur and the Tyrannosaur in Fantasia was pretty boss - the Mama, defending her young, put up quite a decent effort against the terrifying T-Rex.

Anyways, the Stegosaurus is the armour-themed guy in the Dinosaur kingdom, and has a few awesome mechanisms to enable it to survive. One of which is the obvious back plates, which not only look cool, but allow them to take "heaps more damage" than their other herbivorous colleagues.

But they also have that wicked spike arrangement on the tail! That thing is cool. Its called a "Thagomizer" which is cool, too. Imagine being clobbered by that thing! It would hurt so fucking much. I want the Stegosauri on my team, bro.


This is that same scenario, played out by the fucking DINORIDERS. *flexes*

Dennis Nedry

This is the third post in the series detailing the 1993 movie juggernaut: "Jurassic Park". Here are the others.

Nedry rules. Played by Wayne Knight (Newman) - who expertly delivers a clear cut, menacing performance as the only human antagonist in the movie. This fact is awesome, because he and the movie's protagonist (Dr. Alan Grant) never appear in a scene or even a single frame together.

Also - alot of people don't realize this, but Samuel L. Jackson appears in most of Nedry's scenes, with one of his more measured, subtle, and completely convincing performances. But enough about SLJ.. Dennis Nedry, man. Nedry topples the first domino, by switching off the security system - which sets the entire Isla Nublar into chaos. Yeah!

5. John Hammond: "I don't blame people for their mistakes, but I do ask that they pay for them."
Nedry: "Thanks, Dad."

4. [scrambles on the ground] "My glasses... [getting up] ...I can afford MORE glasses!"

3. [To a Dilophosaur] "No wonder you're extinct."

2. "Dodgson! We have Dodgson here!... See? Nobody Cares."



1. "Uh, uh, uh, you didn't say the magic word!"