Rhinoceros

Man, this is such an awesome animal. And we've had a few on here. But this guy... This guy demands respect. Such a badass. He'd "protect his family" above all, or something. Also, in a fight - he could probably take on any member of the animal kingdom, shy of a Megalodon.

That's the crazy thing... I'm racking my brain, and I don't think there's an animal I respect more than the mystic White Rhino.

The other thing I love about this, is the ridiculous image I procured for the Rhinoceros illustration. Its in such out-of-control antiquated language. What on earth does it say? Zoom in on that shit, its really perplexing.

Foxes

Foxes are so fucking great. Look at him! What a little champ. I realize they're total pests and eat everybody's chickens and whatnot, but still. Check this guy out! How could you not love this "species".

Clever, sly, sleek, adorable, and just plain majestic creatures. They could run this planet.

Total Badasses: Komodo Dragons

Look at this beautiful animal. Look at how regal he is. He is truly king of all the lizards.

Living on only a few select islands in Indonesia, Komodos grow to over three metres in length, with their size being attributed to "island gigantism". Because they are the only carnivore in their ecosystem, they dominate the foodchain. Heck yes!

These dudes eat goats, pigs, other mammals, and yes, sometimes even humans. All that was apparently left of a German tourist in 1988 was his bloodstained glasses. Don't mess with the komodos, bro.

For more Total Badasses, click here.

Wojtek: The greatest animal ever!

Wojtek could be the greatest animal who ever lived, and certainly the greatest bear.

I know this is a big call to make, but wait until you hear his story; Wojtek was a Polish bear, much like the one in the picture. What makes him so different? Wojtek was drafted as a soldier in the Polish Army. Fuck yes!

He was adopted by the Polish army in 1942, and was actually listed among the soldiers of the 22nd Artillery Supply Company of the Polish II Corps. He helped move ammunition during pivotal battles in WWII!

Wikipedia lists some pretty amazing facts about Woytek. For example, he was often rewarded with beer, which was his favourite drink. Fuck yes. Also, the name "Wojtek" or "Wojciech" is derived from two words: "woj" (warrior); and "ciech", enjoyment. Thus the name has two meanings: "he who enjoys war" or "smiling warrior". FUCK YES!

But nothing could beat the title of his Wiki page: "Wojtek (soldier bear)"

Jackalopes: Nature's "Should've-beens"

This is exactly what it looks like. A mythical rabbit with antlers. A jackalope. What a great "critter", and just one example of a "hybrid animal" (which is a cool enough concept to warrant its own post). Imagine what it could do with its ultimate combination of the speed and stealth of being a rabbit, with the brute force of having powerful antlers. I would want to both "be one" and "own one".