Death Throes!

Another morbid one, guys. Motherfucking DEATH THROES. So, before I go off and form a Doom Metal band, I'll run this by you - pretty much, this unfortunate Archaeopteryx (pictured above) has come to the end of his life. And since he's now a beautifully arranged fossil, paleontologists have been able to study him and figure a few things out about evolution. But never mind that, this poor old fellow is sprawled out in what is called the "Death Throes".

Death Throes: A violent last-ditch spasm before the Grim Reaper arrives and leaves you in the dust. Epic. Putting it all out there on the line in the final hour. Parting with very bit of energy you've got left, and adding a little drama to the final arrangement of your limbs. Death Throes. Mine are going to be epic, I might try and leap out of a window or something.



Here's the extinction (containing at least one Death Throe, at 6:40) according to Disney's "Fantasia" - except this uploader's been awesome and decided that Rush would be a great soundtrack. Enjoy!

Death Mask!

So here's another process I should probably have done to me after I've passed. Motherfucking DEATH MASK. Very, very badass. Basically its a way to preserve the image of a person who's passed, by making a last-minute cast of their face, immediately following death. They have been used as mementos of the dead, forensic research items, and a reference for post-mortem portraiture. Morbid.

There's also apparently a "life mask" which is cool, except less morbid, and probably less useful since you can just look at their living face if you really need to. Also, if I'm honest - a photograph would probably suffice.

Death Mask. Awesome superhero/wrestler name, too.

The Grim Reaper

This another one of history's "genius" legends. What a fucking badass the Grim Reaper is, man. The ONE guy who never takes any shit from anyone.... No wonder people listen to metal music - they want to have this guy on their side.

The personification of death has been told and retold in many forms - He is often portrayed as a bearded and winged man, but has also been portrayed as a young boy in Greek folklore. In Polish folklore, Death is genderless. The most popularized persona of Death, originating from Celtic folklore - is a skeleton weilding a scythe.

Nice. Check this out:


This is the cover of an 1892 issue of "Le Petit Journal". Imagine picking up your copy of the newspaper, and seeing THAT on the cover. Fuck.

Fuck - a movie about a Young boy who becomes the grim reaper would be cool as shit. Shotgun copyright on that script!

Pyramid

The Pyramid is a really awesome thing. All the best stuff is Pyramid shaped, because long ago - people realized that it was the best way to shape things. Triangle sides, man. Simple as that.

Now, I hate that my posts are beginning to regularly contain words from "Wolfmother" songs, but let's face it: the one thing those guys did was give their band a cool name. Anyways, best Polyhedron ever? Discuss.


This Pyramid is found on the Great Seal of the United States, for some reason. As far as I know, the USA doesn't have any notable Pyramids, but they get an "A" because they put one on their most common currency anyway. Its very mystic, very confusing - and most importantly, a very epic way to decorate your money.

Here's another guy:


I mentioned in an earlier post, that the Egyptians really knew cool ways of "being dead". This building, the Great Pyramid of Khufu is located in Giza, and was the tallest building in the entire world for 3,800 years. That's a way long time. Anyways, this Pyramid, as well as the Sphinx, and 2 smaller Pyramids - make up the "Giza Necropolis" - which quite literally means "City of the Dead". Holy smokes.

Here's the fucked up thing about ^^this particular Pyramid though... The corners point (within a ridiculously close margin) to True North, South, East and West. HOW THE HELL DID THEY KNOW HOW TO DO THAT? COMPASSES WEREN'T INVENTED YET!

How can I get myself one of these, not so much to die in, but to fucking live in!

Anyways, in closing - Pyramids.

Mongolian Death Worm

That's right. It's the motherfucking Mongolian Death Worm! Cower before it! But seriously, this thing has actually been rumoured to exist! The Mongolian name for it is the olgoi-khorkoi, and sightings of it have been reported in the Gobi desert for hundreds of years by locals.

Not only is it freaking huge, but locals have said that it fucking spews sulphuric acid at you (!), and can send a lethal electric discharge from a long distance (!!). Not only that, but its fatal to the touch. So in summary, its a gigantic, electric, acid-spewing worm that kills you if you even touch it.

Mongolian death worm. Another amazing cryptid.

Also, I think I've found an amazing name for my penis...

I Survived

*Potentially upsetting/disturbing content disclaimer*

This series, man. So intense. Wait for the third guy. Holy shit.



Basically, its about people who have really, really realistic brushes with death. And like... talk in depth about it. Its fucked up, but also really amazing.

Man, as if a show like this even exists. The future has arrived.

Sarcophagi

I want to be buried in one of THESE motherfuckers:


Man, that would be so fucken cool. All glorious and lavish and shit, I'd be the most "bling" dead guy ever. You know what else are cool? Crypts, man. Fucken Mausoleums, tombs - graveyards in general.

People get all this really cool shit done to them when they die, for some reason. I'm all for it, because I'm greedy and don't care what money gets spent on me after I'm dead. I'm going all out. Plus, the bonus is - if I become a Ghost or a Spectre or something, I'm going to have a fucking awesome house all ready to live in and have "ghoulish parties" in. Yeah.

Mrs. Susan Walker

I got an incredible email in my spam folder recently. It was the usual fare, with 16.6 million dollars being laundered through my bank account, if I was willing to help out this person with that and whatever, but this one had a really awesome twist. It was from a woman named Susan Walker, a widow of someone associated with the Texaco corporation. She was 69 years old, never remarried, and without children. Here's what she signed off with:

This is to ensure that nothing jeopardizes my last wish on Earth.
I await your urgent reply. May almighty God bless you and your family.

Regards,

Mrs. Susan Walker

The Human Skull

The human has quite a good looking face, really. With the muscles and skin, hair and eyes attached, there's quite alot to see and appreciate when it comes to the topmost section of the human anatomy. However, peeling all of that away, you eventually get the skull.

Look at a human skull:


Its the symbol for poison, death... fucken' Pirates. All really ominous and macabre stuff, and we all have one. Probably the most terrifying (and widely recognized) symbol on earth, and all it really does is protect the brain from damage and support the muscles of the face.

Imagine being mailed one of these. Or finding one on the pillow next to you when you wake up one morning. Fuck.