Reticulated Python

You're an African Reticulated Python! Yes you Are! You're so reticulated!

This is the biggest species of python on the planet, so it can pretty confidently just swoop in and claim the title of the biggest species of BADASS on the planet. These motherfuckers can devour an entire Nyala in one sitting. Nyalas aren't small.

So, yeah. Lets get this over with:

Spear Fishing

There's something so incredibly glorious about catching food this^^ way. Spearing a Fish. Yeah. Behaving more like one of nature's most wily predators, rather than the humans we've become used to being, geting drivethrough McDonalds. This is the way to hunt for food. Using tools that nature provides to you, making a weapon, and then impaling a fucken salmon with it. Then eating it.

That's fucking awesome. I want to try this one day, but only if you promise I'll catch something. And you have to gut it. I can't handle that shit.

King Cobra

Cobra Style! These snakes, man. Such kings of the reptilian civilization. This snake is clearly the easiest reptile to "worship". Something to do with having a naturally-forming headdress just makes these dudes fucking unstoppable. Cobra Style!

Hills

The Hill. The smaller, more peaceful cousin of the Mountain, but with a certain serene dignity that makes them a dreamy addition to any large-scale landscape. Hills just chill out there, on the side of the road, just being totally cool with everything. Congratulations, hills - you're awesome.

Hills.

Rhinoceros

Man, this is such an awesome animal. And we've had a few on here. But this guy... This guy demands respect. Such a badass. He'd "protect his family" above all, or something. Also, in a fight - he could probably take on any member of the animal kingdom, shy of a Megalodon.

That's the crazy thing... I'm racking my brain, and I don't think there's an animal I respect more than the mystic White Rhino.

The other thing I love about this, is the ridiculous image I procured for the Rhinoceros illustration. Its in such out-of-control antiquated language. What on earth does it say? Zoom in on that shit, its really perplexing.

"Majesty"

Having the quality of "Majesty" attributed to you is amazing. I would absolutely love to be thought of as Majestic, particularly if i was "worthy" of the label. Such a powerful sounding word, the word Majestic is Majestic in its own right. Fucken "All-Caps" shit, bro. "MAJESTY" bro!! All the very best shit in the whole-wide universe is Majestic. Look at this:

Majesty, man.

Fucken Royal Majesty, man.

Nature's Majesty!

Bam. Majesty. Respect it.

Lightning

Lightning is awesome, man. Such immense power. Naturally occurring power!

It does so much good shit, it can make you travel time (but only if you can get 10,000 Jiggawatts of it), ruin your golf game, ruin your kite flying, and apparently can help 'heal' holes in the ozone layer, too!


"Chain Lightning" also. Its when lightning "gets" someone, then it bounces from one person to the next, and then again to the next person. Chain Lightning. Deadly, deadly chain lightning.

What's more, is that "Chain Lightning" is a song by Steely Dan!!! Holy Shit! What an amazing song name.

Auroras

Man, why don't we get these in Australia? I want them. I could probably look at one "all night long" and not get bored.

There's a very good scientific explanation about their existence, but I like to attribute them to "the beauty of the cosmos".

The Cree apparently used to call auroras the "Dance of the Spirits". They had the right idea.

The Battle At Kruger

I realize everyone knows how to use youtube, and this is one of their most popular videos, but still - Its worth watching all the way through. I present to you... nature.



Such an "incredible brawl" - real life is so much better than fiction... man, this owns. "Protecting Your Young" is one of the most honorable causes ever. Especially when your family uses a cool strategy. Yeah! (Courtesy of Mad Man Matt)