Total Badasses: Yoshimitsu

Yoshimitsu is the most enigmatic and mysterious character in (both) the Tekken and Soul Calibur game franchises. He is described as a "Space Ninja" and his appearance changes dramatically between releases. Despite this, He always fights wearing spectacular-looking armor, and weilding a "Cursed Blade". He's an absolute lunatic, his moveset is second to none, and his cut-scenes are always the most epic and outlandish (aside from guys like Mokujin, who i'll probably include in the blog later).

Yoshimitsu is able to spit out noxious gas, teleport, turn invisible, run at an amazing speed, and able to fly - by rapidly spinning his sword like a helicopter rotor.

I'm a huge fan of the Tekken series, but certainly not an expert on storylines. Here's what I could decode from my research:

Yoshimitsu is the (current?) leader of the Manji Clan. The blade wielded by Yoshimitsu is also called "Yoshimitsu"... presumably because it holds the spirits of all the former leaders. After a token "respect" storyline in Tekken 1 - Yoshimitsu enters the second Tekken tournament to rescue his friend Dr. Boskonovitch.


Yoshimitsu reappears in Tekken 3 (the best overall game in the series), trying to help Boskonovitch, whose daughter is suffering from a mysterious disease. In Tekken 4, he attempts to form alliances between the Zaibatsu and the Manji Clan.

In Tekken 5 - he seeks out Bryan Fury (another total badass, and my personal favourite Tekken storyline) - who had brutally slaughtered members of Yoshimitsu's clan. And in Tekken 6, Yoshi attempts to find a new sword after realizing that his current one is a cursed weapon driving him insane.

That was a mouthful. Just play some fucken Tekken. For more total badasses, click here.

Stegosaurus

I've always had a soft spot for the Stegosaurus. I always thought the duel between the Mother Stegosaur and the Tyrannosaur in Fantasia was pretty boss - the Mama, defending her young, put up quite a decent effort against the terrifying T-Rex.

Anyways, the Stegosaurus is the armour-themed guy in the Dinosaur kingdom, and has a few awesome mechanisms to enable it to survive. One of which is the obvious back plates, which not only look cool, but allow them to take "heaps more damage" than their other herbivorous colleagues.

But they also have that wicked spike arrangement on the tail! That thing is cool. Its called a "Thagomizer" which is cool, too. Imagine being clobbered by that thing! It would hurt so fucking much. I want the Stegosauri on my team, bro.


This is that same scenario, played out by the fucking DINORIDERS. *flexes*