Stephen Root rules

Stephen Root is one of my favourite comedic character actors. He's a champ. This is arguably his most famous performance.


Fucken Milton from Office Space. This movie is one of the most underrated - or deserving of cult status or whatever - of all time. Milton is the most memorable character in the whole thing, and the one who ultimately wins out. Milton rules. If you haven't seen this movie GO AND SEE IT RIGHT NOW. Its awesome.

Also this:


Bill Dauterive. Yeah yeah, another "I love King of the Hill" post, but seriously - some of the most clever shit that's ever happened on TV, let alone on FOX. More consistent than all of the "Big Players" in the TV Family-Animation game.

Bill is Hank's pathetic best friend, and the lonely bachelor of the group you famously see standing in the alley drinking beer. He's a military man, an Army Barber actually - and is known for his willingness to go along with anything. He's also Cajun. The episode where he joins a Hippie commune is just gold.

Mongolian Death Worm

That's right. It's the motherfucking Mongolian Death Worm! Cower before it! But seriously, this thing has actually been rumoured to exist! The Mongolian name for it is the olgoi-khorkoi, and sightings of it have been reported in the Gobi desert for hundreds of years by locals.

Not only is it freaking huge, but locals have said that it fucking spews sulphuric acid at you (!), and can send a lethal electric discharge from a long distance (!!). Not only that, but its fatal to the touch. So in summary, its a gigantic, electric, acid-spewing worm that kills you if you even touch it.

Mongolian death worm. Another amazing cryptid.

Also, I think I've found an amazing name for my penis...

Cool occupations: Scribe!

Hey, so, would this be a cool job? Being a scribe entails very meticulously writing shit down in the most fancy, immaculate, cool handwriting ever. Just sitting there, writing. Perhaps you'd be a Royal Scribe? Like, a guy who writes down every decree that a King or Queen would make in a Royal ledger, or something. You'd probably wear some wicked official clothing. Like a robe and a colourful cap.

It would make for an awesome ice-breaker/pickup line. "So what do you do?" "Oh, I'm studying marketing at Adelaide Uni and working retail part-time, you?" "I'm a motherfucking scribe, baby!".

Scribe trivia: Tolstoy's wife reportedly scribed, by hand, his entire novel War and Peace, by candlelight, several times over the course of several years.

Paradise

Would writing "Paradise is Awesome" be the stupidest thing ever?... yeah it would be.

But it totally is awesome. Hanging out there for a Gentleman's 10 centuries in the afterlife would be fucking handy, dude. Just chilling out, enjoying some Paradise.

Here's another thing:



Perhaps this is a loose connection... The resort vacation that Corbin won in the competition named "Floston, Paradise" - but whatever.

Best monologue in cinema history? #BigCalls

Easily the Most Underrated thing Ever

I can't believe how great this song is. Cool, average-American looking Joe writes incredible Soft Rock jam, and gets Michael McDonald to guest on it. Members of Dot-Com generation cotton on. Elevator music is cool in 2010.

Ride Like The Wind, motherfuckers.



Boom.

Iron Maiden Artwork

Ok, so I probably should point out I'm late to the party here. Also, I'm really not trying to be the "Irony" guy - because that's terrible. But seriously, at complete face value alone, this:


Fucken Iron Maiden man. I'm never going to want to hear guitars that loud in person. I will never buy a "second kick pedal". I'm pretty comfortable with my experience listening to "turned all the way up to 3" two-guitar jams.

But from this day forward, any CD I buy will have artwork at least ^this^ badass.

PS: I know, right!? electricity has begun to engulf the pyramid.

Total Badasses: Gambit

Gambit, bro. Or Remy Etienne LeBeau, if you want his real name. THAT'S RIGHT, HE'S CAJUN, BITCHES.

Gambit is a mutant, part of the Uncanny X-Men series of comics. He holds power over people with his immense charm, and uses telekinesis to propel and explode things. Gambit's 'trademark' is card throwing attacks, but he also kicks ass hand-to-hand, and with a staff. Ranged and Melee.

He's also the X-Man who manages to score with Rogue. Totally. Badass.

For more Total Badasses, go here.

Can You Feel It?

Just, wow. One of the most perplexing & beautiful moments in the history of music & music video. Please, Enjoy.

Chaos Mage

Some things are just incredibly awesome Google Image "search terms". These two words are incredible searches. Try it out.


Fucken Chaos Mage, bro. If I ever see a job offer advertised in the newspaper that reads "Chaos Mage" as the headline, I'm taking it. No questions asked. Cast some motherfucking spells.

"Shadow Treasurer"

Hey, so isn't this a really, really badass job title? In Australian politics, the opposition's would-be treasurer is known as the Shadow Treasurer. I don't think any other job that uncool would have such a fucken cool name.

Imagine what a more dramatic version of a Shadow Treasurer would do? Whoa. Nice.