Pyramid

The Pyramid is a really awesome thing. All the best stuff is Pyramid shaped, because long ago - people realized that it was the best way to shape things. Triangle sides, man. Simple as that.

Now, I hate that my posts are beginning to regularly contain words from "Wolfmother" songs, but let's face it: the one thing those guys did was give their band a cool name. Anyways, best Polyhedron ever? Discuss.


This Pyramid is found on the Great Seal of the United States, for some reason. As far as I know, the USA doesn't have any notable Pyramids, but they get an "A" because they put one on their most common currency anyway. Its very mystic, very confusing - and most importantly, a very epic way to decorate your money.

Here's another guy:


I mentioned in an earlier post, that the Egyptians really knew cool ways of "being dead". This building, the Great Pyramid of Khufu is located in Giza, and was the tallest building in the entire world for 3,800 years. That's a way long time. Anyways, this Pyramid, as well as the Sphinx, and 2 smaller Pyramids - make up the "Giza Necropolis" - which quite literally means "City of the Dead". Holy smokes.

Here's the fucked up thing about ^^this particular Pyramid though... The corners point (within a ridiculously close margin) to True North, South, East and West. HOW THE HELL DID THEY KNOW HOW TO DO THAT? COMPASSES WEREN'T INVENTED YET!

How can I get myself one of these, not so much to die in, but to fucking live in!

Anyways, in closing - Pyramids.

Bear Grylls

I'm definitely not breaking any new ground here, but Bear Grylls is amazing - it actually doesn't matter at all if all the segments are strictly real or not, this show is fucking amazing. This is a segment from his show Man vs. Wild, look at how close he comes to being wiped out by this fucking train:



Basically, Bear Grylls is the most publicly-celebrated survival badass ever. He pretty much just drops into really remote/dangerous areas - does a bunch of really extreme survival demonstrations (eating bugs, wearing a dead camel, catching fish with his bare hands, etc) and finds a way out. My favourite one so far is the Irish bog-lands, or the Montanan Rockies. Really good stuff.

Anyways, just fantastic television work, real or not. Well done, Bear Grylls.

Heavy Metal: A Step Beyond Science Fiction

I just couldn't wait for Luxury Wolf to get around to posting this. He'd do a better job, but he's... I dunno, dead or something. Anyways, here's the skinny.

Heavy Metal was a series of Science Fiction comic magazines released in the 70's. They were a smattering of highly outlandish, violent, sexual, (often all three) short stories which would've appealed directly to people like Ringo, Lux and Myself - if we were about 20 years older. I still really want to read some.

Heavy Metal has published works by H.R. Giger and Esteban Maroto, and also included a graphic version of Milton's epic 1667 poem "Paradise Lost" in an issue. It was also adapted into an animated movie. Throw the theme song on (its by The Eagles' Don Felder), its amazing:

Don Felder - Heavy Metal (Takin' A Ride)



Boom. So this movie was where the Canadians were "at" in 1981. They couldn't be more awesome. So yeah, the movie was set up much like an issue of the magazine. There are 9 short stories, each of them based around the concept that a ball of "pure evil" has landed on some planet (possibly Earth, I can't remember) and is fucking up all these different kinds of crazy civilizations. One of them as you can see, has big-breasted warrior women who ride around on Pterodactyls.

Just take it at face value, man. As if you don't want to see this film right now!?

Rhinoceros

Man, this is such an awesome animal. And we've had a few on here. But this guy... This guy demands respect. Such a badass. He'd "protect his family" above all, or something. Also, in a fight - he could probably take on any member of the animal kingdom, shy of a Megalodon.

That's the crazy thing... I'm racking my brain, and I don't think there's an animal I respect more than the mystic White Rhino.

The other thing I love about this, is the ridiculous image I procured for the Rhinoceros illustration. Its in such out-of-control antiquated language. What on earth does it say? Zoom in on that shit, its really perplexing.

Throne

Thrones, man. Really, really fancy chairs. Chairs where kings... gods... champions sit. Thrones rule, because you have to be important to have one. I want one.

Check out this amazing throne. How much do you want to sit on this motherfucker?


Alot. That's how. This is the throne of Saint Peter. It resides in Saint Peter's Basilica, in Rome - and was once used by the popes. Unfortunately, my research suggests that you no longer sit on it. Such a waste. Anyways, the chair is often thought to have been actually "sat on" by Saint Peter himself, but was actually a gift to the Pope from "Charles the Bald" in 875. Very old chair.

Anyways, so now its a relic, or something. The incredible ornate bronze "decorations" were designed by Gian Lorenzo Bernini, in 1645. Not quite as old, but would still be a pretty good haul for a catburglar.

Irregardless, I'm not sure why I've been rocking the religious imagery so much lately, but still - those crazy Catholics sure know how to blow their money in spectacular fashion.

"Fire Dancer"

This is cool, whatever it is. Someone should use this as their "personal insignia" or something.


Not me though, mine's going to be a Unicorn, a Bikini Babe, and a Baby riding to heaven on a "cigar-rocket".

Pandora's Box

Check out this wicked box, dude.


Wicked, man. I love the concept of Pandora's Box. And using it as a metaphor for something in real-life, is really fun, too. "Man, you've opened Pandora's Box now" - especially if all that's happening is an argument about paying the rent, or something. Anyways, here's the mythology surrounding Pandora's Box:

After Prometheus took fire from the sun, Zeus sought reprisal by handing Pandora (the first woman on Earth) to Epimetheus, the brother of Prometheus. At the same time, Pandora was given a box that she was ordered not to open under any circumstances. Despite this warning, overcome by curiosity Pandora opened the box. Upon doing so, the evils contained within escaped into the world.

All the best stories begin with "After Prometheus took fire from the sun...".

That sucks though, I wish those evils had never escaped into the world.

Trans Am!

Imagine you're behind the wheel of this badass fucking car. Seriously, just imagine it, proud owner of this glorious Pontiac Trans Am. Look at the decal on the hood, that amazing gold striping, the incredible shiny black exterior.... What an incredible car.

Now turn the stereo volume up on this, motherfucker.

Lynyrd Skynyrd - Free Bird


You're now the coolest man to ever exist. I'd change my name to "Brock Razorskull", and name my new Trans Am something awesome like "Death's Whisper". Yeah.

Demon Lords

I don't care what you say, the greatest threat to life as we know it isn't Global Warming.


Its Demon Lords.

This is pretty much the same point from my Archangel post. No wonder religion and superstition and ritual "enslaves" a good portion of the world's population. This shit is fucking terrifying. Imagine "dealing with" this^^ guy for eternity!? He'd be such a dick!, whipping you and shit.

Man, I don't care what I have to do - somehow, I'm going to heaven.

Wind Power

Another two-pronged post, this time we're tackling the supreme power of wind! Yes, wind. The "Silent Overlord" or something epic to that effect. WHOOOOSSSSHHHHHHHH!


First prong: Boom, wind farms, bro. Renewable energy source. One that was so obvious, we should all be doing an earth-wide facepalm right now. These things are so badass and futuristic, I just can't even wait 'til they're everywhere. Like, EVERYWHERE. It'd be like some wussy (but still awesome) version of the Bladerunner universe.

The future, or at least a cool-looking minor part of it, would have arrived. Wind farms. They're the good guys. They don't want to cause any trouble.


This guy probably does want to cause some trouble. Second prong: Wind Power sorcerer. Or "Wind Wizard" - because that sounds pretty great, too. Look at this cool motherfucker. With a flail of his magic hands, he can control the wind to do his bidding. Look at him go!

Man, I'd bring about the doom of mankind, if it meant I could come back as some sort of Wind Wizard. Just in case I already am one, I'm going to try and "close the door" from where I'm sitting.

...

It didn't work.