Total Badasses: Johnny Cage

Johnny Cage just oozes awesomeness. What a cool guy. Midway totally just took off Van Damme, and then tried to combine him with the "coolest stereotype of an american ever" for this character, but look at him! I'd totally see a Johnny Cage movie.

This attack he's doing here is called the "Shadow Kick" (pow!) and its one of his best special moves. Also he wears sunglasses.

He probably drives a "Corvette" or something. Badass.

For more Total Badasses, click here.

Flamberge!

Flamberge.

Ghost Orchids

Look at this fucking flower, man:


So majestic. Jesus, look at this thing. Its terrifying and beautiful at the same time.

I'd love to get into "the cultivation of rare plants" in my spare time, something about doing that would just be really peaceful and awesome. I realize this is the symbol from that (underrated) movie Adaptation, but still, fuck that - Best. Flower. Ever.

Look at it, man - I could imagine being "obsessed" with these.

Supergiants!

Whoa, check it out. This is what happens when you do your research AFTER posting:

"Supergiants are among the most massive stars. They typically have bolometric absolute magnitudes between -5 and -12. Supergiants can have masses from 10 to 70 solar masses and brightness from 30,000 up to hundreds of thousands times the solar (Earth's Sun) luminosity. They vary greatly in radii, usually from 30 to 500, or even in excess of 1000 solar radii."


Really fucking big stars. Cool.

..and they have the greatest name, ever. Except for the star classification that sits one step higher on the Hertzsprung-Russell diagram - "Hypergiants" (pow!).



...Space.

Millennium Falcon

Ok, empty your mind. Star Wars doesn't exist right now. Empty brain, think of nothing. Blank canvas, people.

Now, just say these two words:

"Millennium Falcon".


The Millennium Falcon is awesome. I'm not even THAT big a Star Wars fan, but seriously - its the coolest. I'd love to be a "crew member" of it. Its great that in the Star Wars universe, its old and clunky, even though it so obviously kicks ass. They're always needing to "fix something" on it, and always make fun of it. Cool.

Also, Lucas has admitted that the design is "inspired by a Hamburger"... the cockpit being an "olive" on the side. Check this out:

Somebody has drawn up some "blueprints" for a fictional spacecraft, which was based on a hamburger! What a champ! Nerds are awesome at "spending their time on things".

:)

"Super Giant"

"Super Giant" ...Would that be a cool thing to be? I think so - because not only would you be really big, you'd have some sort of extra power on top of being really big!

Man, i'd love to be a Super Giant - you'd totally have to "stay out of my way".

Elroy "Lucky" Kleinschmidt

Elroy "Lucky" Kleinschmidt is the redneck husband of Luanne Platter, in the incredible series King of the Hill. He is a badass.

Luanne is voiced by (RIP) Brittany Murphy, which is pretty great - but Lucky is voiced by Tom Fucking Petty. And not just a one-off... he's in a large portion of the series, as the like... 9th most important character! Everybody should watch this show, Mike Judge (the creator) is one of the smartest dudes in showbusiness.

Anyways, aside from being Tom Petty, and kicking ass in general, Lucky enjoys the "gentlemanly pursuits" of muddin', stickin', cat-fistin', stumping, and truck racing.

I watched an episode of King of the Hill yesterday, which involved the guest voice talents of Diedrich Bader, and "The Macho Man" Randy Savage - both of whom kick total ass. Please, get into this show.

The Forbidden City

Amazing. It served as the political centre, or Imperial Palace of China for almost 6 centuries... From the Ming to the Qing, motherfuckers. Commoners, as well as pretty much everyone - weren't allowed there until it became a "Palace Museum" in 1925. It has openly been labelled the "Forbidden City" since it was built. How epic is that?

They call it a city, because it has 980 buildings, with 7,800 rooms... and those are just the ones which have survived the ravages of time!! - Why the hell was it forbidden? It is/was a full sized city!

Oh, and I've been there in real life, too.

Pilots

Man, imagine being a pilot. It would be so fucking awesome. Not only would you be flying planes for a SALARY, and not just for fun - you'd also be in different cities of the world all the time. You'd be in different hotels all the time, just hanging out, and generally being a badass.

"Be right back, just heading to Cairo/Tokyo/Rome/Wherever." - you'd be able to say that really non-chalantly, in real life.

Pilots. So regal and respected... just cool guys, being cool and having a cool job. I wish I'd "tried harder" in real life, so I could BE one right now.

Airships

Airships are awesome. Look at an airship:


Imagine a world where commercial Zeppelin travel had "won the war" against the Aeroplanes. We'd be totally crusing between countries instead of flying. I'd make the time for that.

Look how "enormous" and "peaceful" they are... I want to be the "pilot" of one.

Ancient beliefs

Old-timey scientific beliefs are awesome -- how did people come to these crazy and amazing conclusions? Who knows. Its awesome to think that at one point people actually, truly believed that the world was held up by four giant elephants, who were in turn standing atop an enormous cosmic turtle.

Plague Doctors

So, the Black Death. While not exactly "cool" (it killed hundreds of millions of people), it certainly was "powerful". Consuming Europe in the 14th century, the disease was thought to be God's wrath due to the sin of mankind (whoa... heavy).

To determine who was diseased and who wasn't, these morbid motherfuckers were sent from home to home, inspecting potential victims of the plague.

Imagine one of these beaky dudes in a wide-brimmed black hat striding through your door in the 14th century, cane in hand. You'd be both in awe and petrified.

Apparently the beak was a kind of early gas mask, designed to direct the plague away from the doctor's face, instead directing it onto his stark black robe.

I want to go as one on Halloween. Badass.

Auroras

Man, why don't we get these in Australia? I want them. I could probably look at one "all night long" and not get bored.

There's a very good scientific explanation about their existence, but I like to attribute them to "the beauty of the cosmos".

The Cree apparently used to call auroras the "Dance of the Spirits". They had the right idea.

Animal behaviour, pt. 1

Man, I love stories about wildlife exhibiting behaviour that is strangely "human-like". For example, this is one I read recently that made me go "yeah!":

June, 1994. In Wales, a village's local bee-keeper, Margaret Bell, who kept bees for several decades, passed away. After her passing, the town's residents noticed hundreds of bees settled peacefully, on the corner of the street, directly opposite the house where Margaret had lived for twenty six years.

The bees were paying their respects.

*shudder*

Total Badasses: Hannibal Barca

Hannibal of Carthage is my favourite historical general. Dude is a total legend. He lived in the 2nd century BC, and is known for actually standing up to the greatest power in the ancient world at that time -- Rome.

The dude led a smallish army, including war elephants (yeah!) across the European Alps, at the time thought to be uncrossable. Even though he emerged on the other side with about half of the force he set out with initially, he still amassed several impressive victories behind enemy lines, in Roman territory.

To put it in better words, he "marauded" around Rome for a while, being a total badass and kicking Roman arse for a while. In Italy. Roman territory. Him and his elephants. So cool.

Eventually he was driven out by Romans, who were getting desperate, sending general after general against him in hope of defeating him. The dude who eventually did so was Scipio Africanus. Cool name.

Here is a Hannibal quote I think we can all agree is totally badass:

"We will either find a way, or make one."

For more Total Badasses, click here.

Attache Cases!

"Long before the advent of the laptop computer bag, many professionals carried an attache case. Often referred to as a briefcase, the attache case provided both a practical and attractive means of carrying important paperwork from one location to another. The range of professions that made regular use of attache cases ranged from traveling salespeople to attorneys and corporate executives all the way through to high school teachers and college professors. Essentially, any profession that may require dealing with paperwork in various venues would benefit from the use of the attache case."

These motherfuckers are so cool. Especially the ones with no handles. Nothing says "I'm gonna rape you on the stock market" than one of these pure leather babies under a professional dude's arm. Screw briefcases.

I mostly just love the fact that one can keep all one's most important files and paperwork in a beautiful leather "folio". "Professional elite" -- is that cool?.

PS. Some of these babies go over the one thousand dollar mark.

Total Badasses: Ellen Ripley

I was tossing up whether to declare Ellen Ripley or Sigourney Weaver as the Total Badass. On one hand, Ripley is probably the greatest female hero in cinema history... on the other - she's played by Sigourney Weaver... and her name is Sigourney FUCKING Weaver which is probably the greatest name any real person has ever been named.

But then I noticed the shoes Ripley is wearing in this^^ image. Sci-Fi basketball adventure shoes! They probably provided the "ankle support" that allowed her to save the day!

I think "real names which are amazing" is probably a pretty good post on its own, so maybe I'll save that one up. "Maximilian Q. Adventure", if he somehow exists - has a tribute coming to him.

For more Total Badasses, click here.

Wholesome Fun #1

This is the water park in the West Edmonton Mall. It is easily the funnest place I've ever been (although my brother claims he "almost drowned" there when he was 5 years old).

There's just lots of fun, "water related" activities to do. And, really insane slides. The slides have ratings, like ski resorts - so you know what ones to ride depending on your age/skill level. Waterslides... yeah!

For more wholesome fun, click here.

Marksmanship

Such a great skill. Not all that useful for anything good anymore, but check this out. You might have to ignore some of the Languages-other-than-English audio... but WHOA:



Imagine the amount of cool shit you could "get up to" with aim like this? I'm not talking murder, obviously - but like... I dunno, shooting cans, or something cool...

Midnight Express

Not the movie (which is totally banging as well), the Transformer! I was pretty reluctant to bring up Transformers, since everybody either hates them now, or already knew they were awesome. But I've never even heard of this fucken guy:


Giorgio Moroder - Theme from Midnight Express

[mp3]


Midnight Express. She's (yeah. she's a girl. mind = blown.) a bullet-train Autobot. She's fun loving, and she kicks total ass. Bullet trains rule. *Fist pump*

It was so obvious! There desperately needed to be a train-themed Transformer from day one. Maybe she's been around since day one, I don't know. Frankly I don't want to know. I discovered the idea of this locomotive-lass like... yesterday, and it has completely changed everything.

Midnight Express. Well done, you may well have single-handedly breathed new life into the Transformers universe as I know it.

Staying Up Late

Staying up late is awesome. There's something amazing about being up and doing anything while the rest of your neighbourhood is fast asleep for the night.

I think it definitely stems from when I was a kid - where every night, the last thing in the world I wanted to do was "pack it in" before midnight... there was still loads more to accomplish in the wee hours. I'm posting this on a pretty inopportune day - work beckons for 6am tomorrow morning. Harsh. But tomorrow night... Oh baby. I'm going to stay up so freaking late, man.

Editor's Note: "The Witching Hour"... is a very cool concept too, or something.

Total Badasses: Steely Dan

Generally I would be reluctant to put a '70s musical act (that isn't KISS) in the "Total Badasses" series, but I feel Steely Dan have a case to be made for it. First off, listen to this amazing, smooth track:

Steely Dan - Do It Again

[mp3]

The duo were bastards, apparently. Incredible perfectionists, and huge on "doing it right or not doing it at all" in the studio. I think they tore through 11 engineers and like 40 session musicians, or something, before finishing their final album before breaking up. Eventually they got back together and toured (they were mostly-studio-based prior to this) and got incredible press for their live show.

Also, they're named after a strap-on dildo. That's a terrifyingly awesome thing to name your band after. Especially when they sound like this ^^. Fuck yeah!

For more total badasses, click here.

Wax Seals

Wax Seals are awesome as fuck... I have no idea why these went out of style. They're probably the most stylish thing I've ever seen.

Basically, in case anybody doesn't know - you put a blob of wax on the seal of an envelope. You stamp it with your own "insignia" or whatever, so the recipient of the letter knows who you are. They also know that nobody has opened it (opening the letter breaks the seal, obviously).

I'm going to get a stamp made up.. a really awesome one, (see this post for an idea) as soon as possible, and start posting some fucken letters, man.

"Timepieces"

Clocks are cool. There's so many different kinds, and they're such an important part of everyday life. I love the idea of "craftsmanship" when it comes to reading the time. My favourite kinds of clocks are these^^ wall-mounted, simple, and easy-to-read classic looking ones, they're so classy and "functional". The kind that you'd see in an old train station - or in a hotel lobby, where they're in a series, with London, New York, etc on a nameplate above. Fuck yeah.


Also, watches. I seriously think "anything goes" when it comes to watches. I really want one of these, because its like... 2 things. A watch AND a calculator. If it EVER came in handy... like in an everyday situation, i'd be so pleased with myself for purchasing it. Calculator watches own.

Timepieces... such revolutionary technology design... the evolution of the clock would be an awesome, long book to read; Especially if there were millions of pictures to look at.

Dragonfruit Exists

God bless "fruit", for reminding me that the world is magical. This fruit owns. I deal with it sometimes at my job - its got an amazing white flesh, with little speckles of black seeds. Look at it! It looks like some sort of galactic egg, or something. Almost like you could taste "infinity" if you ate one. I have no idea what it tastes like.. i'm afraid to find out, in case it tastes bad. Dragonfruit!

Larry Bird

"Larry Bird is just a myth, made up to scare black people" - Tracy Jordan

Larry Bird is cool. He's the greatest white basketball player of all time (Dirk Nowitzki will have something to say about this in 2020, but for now..). Bird played for the Boston Celtics from 1979 - 1992, and was hitting 24/10/5 for points/boards/assists in his prime.

He had his most storied rivalry, as well as the NBA's all-time famous rivalry - with Magic Johnson and the Los Angeles Lakers throughout the mid '80s. Anyways - the guy had some serious game. Bird was a 'blue-collar work ethic' guy - who completely clashed with Magic's 'showy' playing style. It was like the Unstoppable Force meeting the Immovable Object. But with super short shorts.

Anyways. Sports is occasionally genuinely cool.

100th Post Spectacular!

Put these two on while we ride through this post together:



Chicago - 25 or 6 to 4

[mp3]


So, we've reached our first 100 posts. The encyclopedia is 0.1% complete! Thankyou to everyone who's visited, and had a look around up to this point. I hope you all come back again at some point to see what we've scraped off of the pop culture floor. It's been alot of fun.

Don't be afraid to just like things. Just enjoy everything for what it is. There's a whole fucking world of awesome stuff out there.

Here's the greatest quote ever... I never have and never will be a openly political person... or even someone who would give credit to my own opinions. But Bill Hicks is the man for the job:

The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. The ride goes up and down, around and around, it has thrills and chills, and it's very brightly colored, and it's very loud, and it's fun for a while. Many people have been on the ride a long time, and they begin to wonder, "Hey, is this real, or is this just a ride?" And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and say, "Hey, don't worry; don't be afraid, ever. Because this is just a ride."

We kill those people. "Shut him up! I've got a lot invested in this ride, shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real." It's just a ride. But we always kill the good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok? But it doesn't matter, because it's just a ride. And we can change it any time we want.

It's only a choice. No effort, not work, no job, no savings of money. Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one. Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defenses each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace.

The Decline of Louis Wain

Louis Wain is one of my favourite classic artists, but not so much for his actual art, but for the evolution of his art. Wain lived in England during the latter part of the 19th century, and found fame by focusing on one subject: cats.

Wain began by drawing naturalistic portraits of cats, such as seen here:

Very nicely done, but very ordinary. As Wain's career progressed, he began to draw anthropomorphic cats, walking on two legs, engaging in what can be described as human behaviour. For example:

Slightly eccentric, but still harmless. At this point in his life, Louis Wain was hit by several real-life tragedies, such as financial strife and the death of his mother. His mental state started to deteriorate and he developed schizophrenia. He would ramble incomprehensibly, wander the streets at night, randomly rearrange furniture in his house. But still, he kept drawing cats. His mental illness however, manifested itself in his art. Just watch:

Bizarre, but thats not the end of it. Eventually his family had Louis institutionalised in an asylum. However, Louis continued to draw cats.

Look at this. It is actually a cat!

The last ever "Peanuts" strip

This is both heartwarming and heartbreaking. It was the final original Peanuts comic strip published, on February 13th, 2000. This was, coincidentally, the day after Charles Schulz passed away.

Folklore, pt. 1

I have a deep fascination with old legends and folklore, you know, the type of local stories many "ole timey" parents probably told their children at night, such as stories about the boogeyman or the Jersey devil. Most of them are very obviously made up, but its cool to think about the possibility of maybe some of them being... true!

This will be my first of hopefully many more posts retelling my favourite old legends from the past. This one is about the "Green Children of Woolpit".

So, scholarly accounts of this date back to Suffolk, England in the 12th century, during the reign of King Stephen. It concerns two children, a boy and a girl, who one day mysteriously appeared in the village of Woolpit, without any explanation. The childrens' hair and skin had a green tinge, and they spoke in an incomprehensible language never encountered before.

Apparently the boy soon died, but the girl lived on and eventually lost her green colour, and even learned to speak English.

The real kicker is what she told them about their origin.

She told them that they came from St. Martin's Land, an underground world where all the inhabitants were green. It gives me shivers just thinking about it.

Total Badasses: Komodo Dragons

Look at this beautiful animal. Look at how regal he is. He is truly king of all the lizards.

Living on only a few select islands in Indonesia, Komodos grow to over three metres in length, with their size being attributed to "island gigantism". Because they are the only carnivore in their ecosystem, they dominate the foodchain. Heck yes!

These dudes eat goats, pigs, other mammals, and yes, sometimes even humans. All that was apparently left of a German tourist in 1988 was his bloodstained glasses. Don't mess with the komodos, bro.

For more Total Badasses, click here.

The Bee Gees

The Bee Gees, motherfuckers! They're so great.

Check this shit out. It was written by the Barry Gibb, and performed by Frankie Valli on the "Grease" soundtrack. It is the bomb.

Frankie Valli - Grease


Listen to that "intro" dudes, pure gold. Also, I have an outlandish theory about Barry Gibb.

The community of Lions, as in actual wild lions - has a royal family. The royal family, throughout its years upon years of Lion civilization, learned and developed maigc. They discovered a way of bestowing a Human Body to one of their Lion brethren, so that he could be an ambassador to the human race. The "King of Lions" himself volunteered, and was cast into human form. This is what he turned out like:



KING OF LIONS.

Total Badasses: Mr. Mime

Mr. Mime totally rules. Seriously.

Mr. Mime is classified as a "Barrier" Pokemon. This is cool for a couple of reasons. Firstly, because "Reflect" and "Light Screen" are totally underrated moves... and Secondly, because he's a fucking Mime. Get it? - i'm in a glass box... invisible walls... Mime?... anyone?

He is so hard to track down in the original Pokemon games (in fact i'm pretty sure you have to trade an Abra to get him... Abra's are NOTORIOUSLY hard to get.) - but when you have him.... oh boy!!! He's a devastating addition to your force.

Over the course of his levels, he learns Confusion, Psychic, Reflect, Meditate - all of the cool shit. You can beat the Pokemon league with just him. Genius.

For more Total Badasses, click here.

Voyager

Hey, so NASA rules, right? I'm pretty sure they're the coolest "organization" ever. Please feel free to correct me with figures and facts about how "taxpayer dollars" are wasted on them, and whatever. But dick with this:

The Voyager mission consisted of the launching of 2 unmanned NASA probes, Voyager 1 and Voyager 2. They were originally designed to observe Jupiter and Saturn, however the two probes were able to continue their mission, and relay information from much further into the outer solar system.

Both probes have achieved escape velocity from the solar system and will never return.

Voyager 1 is currently the farthest human-made object from Earth, having gone 16 billion kilometres, and is also travelling faster than any other man-made orbital object (17 kmph). Cool.

Ok, so everything ^^above this sentence is real. But one last thing... pretty much the greatest thing anyone has ever said aloud - is a description of a superhero named "Kid Cosmos ©". Credit goes to "Dangerous Dave" for this one.

Kid Cosmos is (fictionally), a child raised by NASA, to be a powerful ally to the U.S.A's defence force. He arrives on Earth, when the Voyager 1 probe suddenly re-enters the atmosphere, crash landing in the Pacific Ocean. The NASA recovery team go out and retrieve the "somewhat intact" vessel from the ocean, and open it up, only to find a fucking baby inside. (pow!)

If I ever turn that into a screenplay - watch out Hollywood. :)

NASA... yeah! *fist pump*

Beagles

Beagles. Totally great guys. Look at this guy! ^^

If there were ever a species that could create an effective system of government, overthrow our government, and lead the world into the next millennium - i'd put all my fucking money on the Beagle. They look like we'd "have no idea what they are capable of".

Imperial Eggs

I really wish people still valued "excessive luxury". One of the ultimate examples of old-school excessive luxury were the jewelled eggs that the Russian Imperial family had made for them at the turn of the last century. Why were they made? Because they are an example of utter luxury and materialistic beauty.

Each egg was meticulously made for the Imperial family by the House of Faberge, with each egg taking months to create. Their designer, Peter Carl Fabergé, was actually officially given the title ‘goldsmith by special appointment to the Imperial Crown’, which is the coolest title ever.

Just marvel at this description of their craftsmanship:

"The egg is made from gold, enamelled translucent lime yellow on a guilloche field of starbursts, referencing the cloth-of-gold robe worn by the Tsarina at her Coronation.

It is trellised with bands of greenish gold laurel leaves mounted at each intersection by a gold Imperial double-headed eagle enamelled opaque black, and set with a rose diamond on its chest. This pattern was also drawn from the Coronation robe worn by the Empress.

A large portrait diamond is set in the top of the egg within a cluster of ten brilliant diamonds"

The best part? Each egg was said to hold a "surprise" inside, usually in the form of a quaint figurine, like a little hen, or sometimes a gem of some kind.

Man, I want one so bad.

Japanese Spider Crabs

Look at the potential size of these fuckers. My god. Scary as all hell. And they're real, too. Imagine one "making its way into your room" while you're sleeping... (thanks to Mad Man Mark for the tip)

Side note - "Deep Sea Gigantism" is pretty much the coolest thing I've ever heard of. Google search that shit. Apparently there's distances in the ocean that mankind have never sent anything down to explore. Like, ever. So there's heaps of outlandish creatures down there, than can survive super, super high pressure/low temperatures. Those guys are probably badasses.

Conquistadores

Conquistadores are cool as balls. They conquered the Aztec and Incan empires, discovered the "New World", etc. Pretty epic stuff... Like 4 centuries worth. They have names like Lucas Vázquez de Ayllón, and Diego de Almagro - so cool.

"Conquering Empires" is a pretty badass thing to do, particularly when you ignore the rape/pillage kind of stuff. Spain rules. Empires rule. I definitely want to "rule one" someday.

Total Badasses: Dhalsim

Dhalsim is a total badass. He first features in Capcom's Street Fighter II, where he utilizes a "yoga" style of fighting, making him deadly as a long-range striker character. He can also shoot fire from his mouth - "YOGA FLAME!" - in a variety of ways.

I love how Capcom decided that "stretching your arms and legs to 3x length" to attack your opponent was somehow an interpretation of the "art of yoga". Still, one can dream.

Anyways, Dhalsim rules.

For more Total Badasses, click here.

Dr. Ian Malcolm

This is the second post in the series looking back Steven Spielberg's 1993 epic: "Jurassic Park". Here's my previous one.

Dr. Ian Malcolm kicks ass. He's the "funny" guy in the group of people participating in the simulated run through of the park's tour. He's a Mathematician, and more importantly; a CHAOTICIAN. He's there to assess the park's probability of failure.. and then he gets to participate in that failure. Malcolm is played by Jeff Motherfucking Goldblum, and is my favourite character in the movie. Here we go with his best lines:

5. [Dr. Grant asks Malcolm if he is married] "Occasionally... I'm always on the lookout for the future ex-Mrs. Malcolm."

4. Life... finds a way.

3. "I'll tell you the problem with the scientific power that you're using here: it didn't require any discipline to attain it. You read what others had done and you took the next step. You didn't earn the knowledge for yourselves, so you don't take any responsibility... for it. You stood on the shoulders of geniuses to accomplish something as fast as you could and before you even knew what you had you patented it and packaged it and slapped it on a plastic lunchbox, and now ...you're selling it."

2. "God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs..."


1. "He did it. The crazy son of a bitch, he did it..."

Torchlight!

Ok, so remember Diablo 2? Remember how awesome that game was, and how addictive it was to level up your dude and collect loot that slowly got awesomer and awesomer? Torchlight is a new game that is like Diablo, but without all the convoluted plot and theme.

Torchlight is a "little adventure", that keeps all the leveling up and loot collecting that made Diablo-esque games fun, and strips everything else. How fuckin' cool is that concept?

All you do, is descend into a massive underground dungeon, filled with level after level of awesome enemies, who are all actually piňatas filled with loot. Your character is one of three archetypes.

By the way, how cool are "fantasy archetypes"? You've got the fighter, the rogue, and the mage. Who needs anything else? That is so simple and classic. Get out of here with your "Blood-lock Destroyer Knightmage". Play a friggin' rogue or somethin'.

Your character gets to have a pet, too -- an awesome idea. Although this time its not a "badass demon or elemental", its a cat or a dog. Yep, once again, how simple and awesome is that? I chose a cat.

So I'm playing a Rogue, and her name is "Eden" (is that a cool name for a girl?) and my cat's name is "Galahad". Come on, thats a fuckin' cool name for a cat!

Love this game.

Ladder Matches

Ladder matches own. They're the ultimate "test of determination" for a pro wrestler. Ladder matches generally take place between two dudes, at the end of a long series of storied bouts. The winner must retrieve the "title belt" from high above the ring, by climbing a ladder in the middle of the ring. His opponent has to try and stop him. Generally you get "really hurt" in this type of match.

Here's something historic from the more recent yesteryears of Pro Wrestling (from a TLC match, a more 'extreme' version of the Ladder match), that genuinely took my breath away.



Ouch.

Music Video "Worlds"

Man, check out how lovely, positive and just plain great this song is. Plus, the video depicts some kind of poor-production-valued, pseudo futuristic boogie universe, where everyone is "grooving around", and generally just living in the world of this song!! Incredible.

Plus, the band name is "Earth, Wind & Fire"... oh my god. Does anybody think that white people have just always been WAY behind?

Keys

Keys are the coolest thing ever. The "key and lock" system of technology (from ancient to modern) is really, really great.

Keys open things that "require security for some reason". Doors, chests, lockboxes, fucken trapdoors... dozens of lockable possibilities. But the best concept is what's inside. Endless potential. I'm totally going to "lock something away" right now, purely for the novelty value of it all.

Editor's Note: wearing a key as a pendant around your neck is pretty awesome, too.

Nebulae

Ok - so this isn't going to be one of those "space images make great desktop wallpaper" posts, but here's something I think is cool.


Here's the Milky Way. We live here. And that is pretty awesome stuff, right there.

Now, we know some stuff about the Milky Way, and how it works, due to the magic of science. We kind of know what the Milky Way's "deal" is. Just because its the closest thing to us.

Now, check this out:


The fucken Horsehead nebula. Compared to our own solar system, i think we (mankind) know about as much as a dog knows about driving a car, about this place. This little pocket of the Orion nebula.... Its within the Milky Way there, somewhere. I think.

Imagine what kind of "activities" are going on over here - physically and biologically. Imagine what "day to day life" would be like somewhere that epic and crazy.

What i do know, is that the Horsehead nebula is a "dark nebula" (pow!) - which means it is a kind of interstellar cloud, which obscures things behind it, or blocks out background stars. Thats awesome, man.

"Secret family recipes"

The idea of a "secret family recipe" is cool. Just imagine the recipe was passed down since like, the Middle fuckin' Ages or something, and all it is, is just potatoes cooked to a very very specific temperature that makes them irresistible. Or something like that. I wish my family had one.

Angel Blade!

This is it. This is the greatest superhero ever conceived. Angel Blade. Fuck yeah man! How cool is that? Angel Blade. Would he be an angel armed with some kind of blade? Or would he be a human, somehow gifted by the angels with a magnificent blade? He would probably wear some kind of mask -- a white mask. Is that cool? I think it is.

Jaguar Warriors? Yes please!

So if you thought the ancient Aztecs couldn't get any cooler, think again, buddy. Their military had two classes of warrior -- the "Jaguar Warriors" and the "Eagle Warriors". Hell yes!

Each class was said to wear the skin/feathers of their namesake, and took on characteristics of their animal to some extent in battle.

Imagine like, sitting in an Aztec bar and someone asking you what you did for a living, and you replying "I'm a motherfuckin' Jaguar Warrior!". Yeah!

Beer

Beer RULES. Its so delicious and cold. When its cold. Room temperature beer is quite alot worse. A tall glass of ice cold beer.... Its like drinking gold, man. Best drink ever.

/mostobviouspostever

Total Badasses: Mariusz Pudzianowski

Being a "strong man" is a really cool thing to be, especially if you are "strong" as your profession, like Mariusz here is. Mariusz (also called "Dominator" and "Big Python"), a resident of Poland, has won the World's Strongest Man competition more times than any other individual, with five wins.

Apart from being strong, Mariusz also appears to have a "moral conscience", which is cool; he actually once spent some time in jail for beating up a local Polish mafia boss who he saw physically beating a young boy.

He has also competed in Polish Dancing With The Stars, which is a cool "contrast" to being strong.

The coolest Mariusz quote was from just before he was about to compete in his first ever MMA match; Mariusz, a trained boxer, was quoted as saying: "The left hand brings death, but the right one even I am afraid of." Totally badass.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mariusz_Pudzianowski

For more Total Badasses, click here.

Total Badasses: Shere'Khan

So the Jungle Book has been mentioned before, but this post will serve as the first of many - profiling our favourite badasses throughout the history of the screen. I'm nominating Shere'Khan. Watch him interrupt this lovely "friendship" song:



What a suave, cool guy. So scary, too. That baritone voice sends shivers down my 8-year-old self's spine. Considering how old this movie is, I think the cat-form George Sanders gives cat-form Jeremy Irons a run for his money (Irons was the voice of 'Scar' in the Lion King, duh.)

For more Total Badasses, click here.

Holy Shit

"Infinity Kid"

...is that cool?

Himmler's Ring

Totenkopfring. English: "Deaths Head Ring". We're off to a good start now...

Put this song by Lowell George on, while you read the rest.


[mp3]

So yeah anyways - here's Heinrich Himmler's Ring - it was awarded to the best, most skilled and most loyal of the SS, during World War 2.


Chilling. Fuck.

The greatest thing about these rings, is that they weren't necessarily sanctioned by the state, like a military medal - these were instead more like "gifts" from Himmler himself. Apparently alot of the remaining rings (the ones still in public circulation serve as incredibly expensive collectors items) have been "blast sealed" inside a mountain. Imagine "finding one"... would that be cool? I think so.